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A Message to SEGA Fans from Randy Pitchford

message_from_randy_pitchford_doucheHi there, SEGA fans. It’s me. Randy Pitchford.† Really. And I love video games, and Aliens Borderlands, and I love you, too.

We here at Gearbox like to keep it real, yo, so that’s why I’m here as SEGA Nerds’ new correspondent to deliver news regarding the Aliens: Colonial Marines class action lawsuit. That’s right, every time there is something new to report on Colonial Marines, I’ll be here to give you the inside dope.

Today, I’d like to clear the air on some of my company’s recent legal actions.

Last Wednesday, we filed a motion with the Northern District of California court which argues that Gearbox should not be included in a class-action suit filed against both SEGA and Gearbox which claims false advertising for Aliens: Colonial Marines. Well, because we at Gearbox didn’t actually receive any profit from the sale of the game, so we can’t possibly at fault for misleading anyone because the game wasn’t successful enough for us to make any money. That makes sense, right?

Just to be clear SEGA fans, if you go out and buy a copy of Aliens: CM right now, whether digitally or at retail, Gearbox will NOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY from that purchase. You will not be supporting Gearbox in ANY WAY.

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Not only that, but we here at Gearbox also wanted to let you know that we invested some of our own money in the Aliens: CM project after SEGA pushed up the release date after determining that six f–cking years!!! was enough time to deliver a quality product. That’s right, kids. Despite providing Gearbox with six years of funding and time, it is really SEGA’s fault that we made a bad game.

There’s some other legalistic jargon that we could talk about, and you can look at more of our super-boring court actions here. The most important thing to remember is that we here at Gearbox are just like you. We just love games, and our fans, and we just love love, too.

We would never lie to our fans, or do anything to mislead them. We would never feel comfortable putting a our name on a less than quality product.

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Die.

We hope that this lawsuit will not affect your decision to purchase Alien: Isolation Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel later this year. Thanks for letting me rap with you for a few minutes.

This is the really-real-for-realz Randy Pitchford,† new SEGA Nerds news correspondent, peacing out.

†Disclaimer: Randy Pitchford has never actually communicated with anyone at SEGA Nerds regarding Aliens: Colonial Marines. The depiction of him on this site is intended for comedic purposes only.

 

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